Difference between revisions of "Phillip Durham"

Revision as of 10:23, 15 October 2006

Philip Mark Durham is a current upper sixth stalwart who often sports a unique style of dress. Influences include Mr Ventress, Mods, Flasher Blokes, "Trailor Trash", Harry Potter, General Punkness including shocking pink colours, General indieness, Varied Skateboarding styles and very old men. Also has been known to wear his mothers blouses and Ross C-C's mothers naughty underwear. Philip enjoys Press-Ups, naked wrestling with male counterparts, music, tea, Mosh pits, sausage bagels, Pete Doherty, Guiness (pint of), Wolfman and The Matrix.

Phil enjoys his music and has many musical influences. He is a skilled guitarist and songwriter and is the driving force behind the critically acclaimed band, The Bollocks.

Phil's Musical influences

• The Libertines and all affiliations
• The Paddingtons
• The Clash
• NOFX
• System of a Down

Nicknames

• Phildo
• Phil
• Philipe
• Harry Potter
• Spazzy Potter

Slick

Wild Child

Phildo has a reputation amongst many of the old hands at BRGS as well as the majority of the influx of new sixth students for partaking in general tomfoolery. Indeed, his unique pursuits have ensured affection from nearly all peers over the years, with the possible exception of ex-student Martin Peel, who once thrust a pen deep into Phil's leg in an unprecedented attack. Amongst the incidents that epitomise Phil's memorable time at BRGS are:

• -Phil's pants being pulled down by a passing sixth former as Durham hung, oblivious, from a basketball hoop, having elected to hold on to it for as long s he could. The revelation enthused several onlooking females, who, despite Phil being a tender year 9 student, were impressed by his "at least average"-sized penis; this more than compensated for Phil's embarrassment.
• -Phil wearing pyjamas to school beneath his unifrom, having ACTUALLY forgotten to take them off before dressing that morning.
• -Phil attaining an enormous bump on his head when, while attempting to dislodge a football by shaking the tree it was in, he inadvertently dislodged a large rock. The rock hit him on the head with an audible crack.

Achievements

• Philip was named in the nightmare team of the week in the sixth form interform football championship as his team stalled at the first group stage losing all two of their games and promptly being ejected from the tournament. It has been suggested team tactics played a major part in Phils poor performance as rumours suggest his duty was to man mark threatening opposing players. There has never been a squarer peg in a rounder hole; defensive play has never been Phils strong point, his preference being to play "in the hole" as a flamboyant attacking midfielder prising gaps into the opponents defence. A gifted dribbler on the ball and with superb movement off it, a sparkling future career has been marred with horrible inconsistency with moments of brilliance shrouded by too many games where his impact was minimal. Lifestyle choices have unfortunately also led to a deterioration in his fitness levels; despite Phil's assiduous 50-a-day press-up routine, the over-consumption of cigarettes, beer and sausage, bacon and egg sandwiches continues to manifest itself in the form of a pot belly, while simulatneously dragging his cardiovascular fitness to previously unchartered depths. Smoking will also, at the present rate, cause phil's DEATH. A sad case indeed.