Difference between revisions of "Lies"

Latest revision as of 19:49, 7 March 2011

During lower school, students are exposed to many "facts" that are later discovered to be "lies". Below is a list of the most shocking.

• Science

1. The chapter on human reproduction is not to be giggled at. (Year 7)

• Physics

1. "The states of matter are three in total."
   1. There are 3 states of matter; Solid, Liquid and Gas. (Year 1-12)
   2. There are 4 states of matter; Solid, Liquid Crystal, Liquid and Gas. (Year 13)
   3. Plasma is a state of matter (find it in the sun, lightning balls and computer games), as is the Bose-Einstein Condensate (or BEC [1]), a grand total of 6! (Year 13 research)
   4. You may also find out that there are well over 10 states of matter (most aren't mentioned at school). There are many websites listing all the states of matter, but these sites and scientists have different ideas on what are classed as states of matter (e.g. Does quark-gluon plasma come under the state of plasma, or is it a different state? If the Big Bang turns out not to have been real, there was never such things as strongly and weakly symmetric matter). Here are some definate states:

• Solid
• Liquid
• Gas
• Plasma
• Quantum Hall
• Superfluid
• Supersolid
• Supercritical Fluid
• Bose-Einstein Condensate
• Fermionic Condensate
• Degenerate Matter

1. "Light goes in straight lines." (Year 5)
   1. This depends on whether light is a particle, like a student going past a corner, or a wave, like a posse of students moving past the corner and spreading out when more space becomes available on the other side. As it happens, you can think of it as both, and as a result it can bend round corners. (Year 12 and 13)
2. This mock is easier than the last one. (It never is)
3. "You too can understand electrons."
   1. All that matters that is matter is Protons, Neutrons and Electrons (Year 7-11)
   2. Electrons are particles (Year 12 and 13)
   3. Electrons are waves (Year 13)
4. "We know what we're doing."
   1. We don't.

• Chemistry

1. Electrons are ... (Years 7-9)
2. Electrons are arranged in shells of 2,8,8,2 (Years 10 and 11)
3. Electrons are arranged in subshell orbitals (Year 12 and 13)
4. There are 3 subatomic particles (Year 9, other sources say various things, because it depends on what is meant by a 'subatomic particle')

• History

1. It's good if you write "Therefore, to conclude" etc... (Years 7-11)
2. It is quite likely that including either of these phrases in your essays, if Mr Grehen is within, say, 200 meters, will get you vanished, your only trace being your ears, both nailed to the squirrels on the front doors. Rumour has it that Mr Grehen keeps the bodies in his dark batcave-stroke-office beneath the school. Reports of these remain uninvestigated due to the fact that Mr Grehen is never seen anywhere near his office.

• English Literature

1. Presentation matters.

1. Treat the characters as though they're real. Try to understand why they're doing what they're doing (Years 7-9).
2. Never treat the characters as though they're real. Remember that they were designed. (Year 10+)

• French

1. It's important, and is a prominent European language (unlike German, which is not AT ALL the official language of the EU council)

• PSHE

1. PSHE is the most important lesson.
2. It is in fact the most useless boring and rubbish lesson you will ever waste your life on.

• In General

1. It could be a real fire. (Year 7)
2. It's a drill. Finish your test. (Year 8+)