Mrs Gregson

Mrs Gregson taught Maths at BRGS for nine years, and was a Head of Year, up until her retirement on the 20th July 2007.

Her favoured snack is the banana, her favoured colour is green and her favoured letter is 'ssss'. Her tone of her voice never changes, only the length of words. She can be seen to 'smile' when a student is being slightly absent-minded or when the "computery projector thing" doesn't work.

Reputed to be the devil incarnate by many people. Either that or a succubus...or incubus, both apply. Several students have felt the temperature of the room drop when she enters. This however is probably just because she insists on opening any window possible even on the coldest, windiest and rainiest of days.

Quotes

"Reece, I have given you about a million credits this week!! Thats.... okay..."

"So you got 120? Thats a hiiiiigh level 8, very very good!!, and you? 130? Thats.... not bad."

"You dint do this, did you not?"

"mediannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn." (this went on for at least five minutes, amidst giggles from pupils)

"So what's the answer?"

"Umm... I got 15, but I guessed."

"No, that's not the answer. How did you get that?"

"I guessed, I didn't understand the question."

(Mrs Gregson works it out on the board)

"Well I dont understand how you got 15..."

"I guessed."

"... do you know where you went wrong?"

"I GUESSED!!"

"Its not homework tonight but feel free to do some more questions"

"What's your name?"

"Jordan, miss"

"John?"

"Jordan, miss"

"george?"

"Jordan!"

"Jim?"

"JORDAN!!!

(repeated every lesson)

"I am only giving you extra homework because I don't want you hanging around on street corners getting yourself an ABSO (she meant ASBO)

"Once is funny, twice is silly, three times is detention"

"xssssssssssssssssssss" (she always adds s's to the end of what she's saying to try and hide her slow mental arithmetic!!!)

"Alex, Aaalex, Aaaaaaalex, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalex, Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllleeeex....Dominic, is he sleeping again?"

"Slapdash. That's my new favourite word. Slapdash. "

"I like potatoes too, mashed potatoes are my favourite"

"Oh and once we've finished this topic we're back onto simultaneous equations, they're my favourite part of Maths!"

"And if you're good this lesson we'll do a team game next lesson."

"Oh I'll pick those scissors up for you Peter, I mean Adam, I mean Arthur, we wouldn't want you getting hurt now would we?"

"OK I will now collect your homework marks. Arshad?"

(Arshad speaks) "80%"

(Mrs Gregson) "Not bad. Adam?"

(Adam speaks) "75%"

(Mrs Gregson) "VERY GOOD!"

"Why didn't you hand your homework in? You did? When? Break-time!?! I'd already marked them by then! Well when I said 'anytime on Friday' I meant Friday before registration"

"What mark did you get?" ("98% Miss") "Acceptable"

"Now if you work well this lesson then i'll give you each a sudaku" (meaning sudoku)

"Liam, Liaaam, Liaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!"

"I think there will have to be some movement of places, because people are just talking when there is no need" (every single lesson, and it never happens)

(Taking in marks from Set 2 9R/S/N 2006-07) "Bethany?" "95%" "Excellent, try and get 96% next time! Philippa?" "84%" "Good, try and get 85% next time. Emily?" "82%" "Good, try and get 83% next time" (and so on all the way around the class)

(In almost every Set 2 9R/S/N 06-07 class) "Now, who's been answering well today and deserves a credit? Reece, I think you have. Cameron, have you been answering well today aswell?" "Erm, no Miss" "Are you sure?" "Yes miss." "Ok, anyone else?" (no response) "Oh, Andrew I think you deserve a credit for answering that long question before" (Andrew looks confused, as does the rest of the class)

(Explains something very long and complicated in Maths, with taking a breath until the end)

"Why wont this page open!?!" (clicking it 22 times wearing her Bogie green sweater) "Oh, now Jamie, why has it opened 11 times? Oh and it's not calibrated"

"OK class now copy down the first, second, and forth cream note on page 97, wait, no don't copy down the first, just copy the the third and second." (Class all confused)

"Oh, what has Mrs Mazzina done to this whiteboard pen?"

Mr Reeves: "Oh, what has Mrs Gregson done to this whiteboard pen?"

Mr Wilbraham: "Oh, what has Mr- have you been fiddling with the board again?"

(To 7 R/N/S of 2006) "I've got some worksheets here for you." (Gives out worksheets, class look confused) "Oh come on, it's not THAT hard!" (looks at worksheets) "ok, maybe it IS hard; I've given you my year 9's work, well, feel free to have a go at it." (Repeats this A LOT)

SLAPDASH

This is a term most commonly used when referring to her current Lower VI DX class. The term is uttered almost repeatedly during lessons when she hands back the students their assignments where the presentation is not the best. Mrs Gregson loves to take marks off; despite the fact you may have every question perfectly right; your presentation may drop you down to 75%. The most common offenders for this title are - Joe Burrows, Jonny Parton (Nova), Philip Archer and Michael Saggerson.

This term is never used when referring to a female member of the class's work; however bad their presentation may be. [excuse me, I, Chantelle Porter have been told many times my work has been slapdash!!]

The term has also been known to almost kill one Joe Burrow by asphyxiation, as he could not breathe whilst laughing at Jonny's "slapdash" work, as Mrs Gregson continued to tell Jonny how bad it was. However this was the same lesson where Rob Pilling did the wrong bit for homework, and it turned out that he had already done the entire lesson's work, which only added to Joe's humour.