- Owns a self-made Pritt Stick costume
- Was kicked out of focus DIY for being inside a cardboard box - 
- For some reason is never called Kieron in school except by some teachers. His real name is Keith. It must be his real name, or why would so many people call him by it.
- Desperately needs a haircut
- Did not need a wig when dressed as hippy on that 60's day
- Has own site, , although hasn't updated it for quite a while
- Has been credited with creating and spreading around school the posters bearing the legend "Happy Mcbirthday sexy dale!" on Dale's birthday. The reasons for the Mcbirthday are unknown. However, Dale being sexy is clearly just fact.
- He practically worships pie. However he hates cheese, claiming it evil, and therefore whenever someone says cheese in his presence he will immediately say either "pie" or "evil". This is said to have originated when he was little, and opened the fridge door, and a large lump of cheese fell on him. He also hates the taste. The question of the cheese pie has never been answered, it's cheese so it's evil, but it's pie so it's good, but it's cheese, etc. On his website forums, the word cheese is in the swear filter, becoming ch**se. People therefore normally type cheeese.
- Used to be able to be hypnotised (the swinging watch technique was used) into doing anything, by someone saying a verb. adjective, adverb or noun and he would act it out. "run-into-walls Keith" was funny, as was "inanimate object keith. A similar thing worked, but without the hypnotism. He could be made to hug anything if someone said it sound like Pie. This started with Pipe suonds like pie, and so he hugged the pipe. Eventually we got to Adam sounds like pie, and skip sounds like pie. An Adam sounds like cheese" was never tried. The hypnotism is shared with Adam Hathaway.
- (To Mr Vass, who is demonstrating validation on his database about turkeys) You're a turkey sizist!!!
- Wow a new Metal Gear Solid Game, nerdgasm!
- (During an exciting Geography lesson about cities)
Mr Spencer: What do you notice on this street that suggests it is a bad area?
Kieron: The trees are in cages. Who would do that?
- (Later that same lesson)
Mr Spencer: Now what do you notice about the school in this picture?
Kieron: It has a lot a chimneys, which suggests that there is a lot of fire.
Mr Spencer: So what does that mean?
Kieron: They burn children.
- (Even later that same lesson, Alex Peace is annoying Kieron)
Kieron: GET OFF MY BUM!!!!
(Everyone looks at them)
- (After Kieron has been hiding under a table for the whole of registration and form time)
Mr Vass: You're a strange boy, Kieron.
- "Yay, foursome!!"
- (Miss Walker pauses a history video because people are talking.)
Miss Walker: If you need to chat, get it out of your system now before I restart the video.
Kieron: That reminds me, I need to get something out of my system.
(Stands up and farts on Adam)
- "Non-Ginger Scum!!!"
- Alex Peace: The internet never lies!
Kieron: It does sometimes.
Alex: Name one time it has.
Kieron: When Wikipedia said that Shakespeare could fly.
Alex: Oh yeah, that's not true.
Kieron: I know that because he didn't fly on Doctor Who, and the TV never lies.
- I haven't hugged you all week
- (At Year 9 camp, Joe is playing with his knife)
Keith: Joe, pass me your knife a sec
Keith: Why not? Don't you trust me with knives?
Joe: Er.. No